Tuesday, November 20, 2012

On saying good-bye...

hate goodbyes. Really. 
I would rather NOT say goodbye (classic avoider!) than have to go through it. But we did it. We said goodbye to ayahs, nurses, and hardest of all, the kids. 
They seemed to sense it. Heidi clung to Andrew, which she has never done before. She would not let him leave, and Angel cried and cried when I walked away. I could hear her yelling "mama!" as we walked down the road. (yeah. break my heart) 

Beautiful Angel

Im in the process of creating a slideshow about our time in india. As I edit, delete, and try different songs, I find myself getting all teary eyed. While we were in Hyderabad for a week, I found myself longing to be back at the orphanage. I missed my kids! 
I missed their faces and their cuddles. I missed how they run up to me, arms open, shouting "akka, akka!" (which means "big sister")
Im trying to wrap my mind around leaving these little ones. When I sit down and think about it, the emotions are strong and most often I am left in tears. 
Who will come and love these littles when we are gone? Who will walk with Cedar, colour with Lily, play in the water with Jasmine, sing to Dinah?
Who will see their worth and value, how incredibly special they are? Who will delight in Heidi's precious facial expressions and give her cuddles, especially when she doesn't think she needs them!
We pray often for volunteers to come. 
To look past the garbage, heat and craziness of India. 
To look past the lice and lack of healthcare. 
To see past the social stigma of HIV and being different.
 These kids have been implanted into my heart. I didn't expect it, although Im not surprised at all. God has been working on our hearts, giving us more compassion and love. And when you see people through the eyes of God, you have no choice but to love them.

 We will miss these littles, in a different way than the ministry in Israel. Not better, not worse, just different. These littles don't have parents. They have very little options of a "way out". Their life is pretty much determined for them.

Unless someone sees their worth. Unless a family decides to adopt them and give them a forever family.  Unless people answer God call to love these little ones with a resounding "yes!"

We said yes, and we are changed because of it. Its funny, you come here to serve and teach, to love and give, but we walk away having learned so much. It always feels as if we are the ones being ministered too. It has been a privilege to serve here. We leave with sadness, knowing that life is not easy for these kids, praying that someone will come and fill our shoes. We also leave with such joy, thankful for all that God has done, His faithfulness and heart for this nation! 

These kids have forever changed me and I am so grateful to each one. Please pray with us for volunteers! 

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