Saturday, December 1, 2012

Nightmares and the joys of Laos!

All was well in the house of the Wiebes. 
We were tucked into bed, tired after a long day in a boat on the Mekong River, thankful to have gotten a decent deal on a room! 
Then at 1:45am, Andrew wakes up his peacefully sleeping wife. There is a loud rustling in our room, like someone is crumpling tinfoil or plastic. I tell Andrew "its nothing, let me sleep!" but quickly realize, its loud and close by! 

Ok, now Im awake! 
By the light of the flashlight, Andrew slowly starts exploring around the armoire, where the noise is coming from. He sees something flash by, over my bag and go under the armoire! 
Now Im on the bed, where I realize that whatever it is, might jump at me, resulting in a trip in the ambulance! 
Time to put on some pants. 
I am not going to the hospital in my striped underwear!
 (See mom, you did teach me how to be a lady!) 

Andrew is  bare chested and wearing his big work boots.He tells me that he doesnt want, whatever it is, to bite his toes! Amen!
I tell Andrew "Its probably a kitten. At most, a cat." 

Thats right. A cat, in our room, under the armoire. 
These are the type of things I say at 2am. 
The "cat" jumped into one of the two drawers at the bottom of the armoire (sheesh, how many times do I have to type that word!!) so Andrew slowly pulled out one. 
At this point I am sharing the bed with ALL of our stuff, pants on, and a pillow stuffed in my mouth. 
Literally. I had my travel pillow (thanks Dom and Sandi!) shoved into my mouth because, in the back of my head and deep, deep down in my heart, I know its not a cat. 
And I know that whenever this creature comes shooting out of the furniture, straight at my face, I will scream. I will scream until the entire town of Luang Prabang hears me! 

So thats the situation. And sure enough, when Andrew starts to slllllloooooowwwwwly pull out the second drawer, we hear the scurry and we see the tail. 
Its confirmed.
There is a rat in our room. 
Not just a little one. 
A big, hairy, furry rat that Im pretty sure had a tattoo and an eyepatch. 
And it didn't jump out of that drawer. Oh no, it came flying out, it came out in a flash and headed straight for me! 
To my credit, I didn't scream the house down. The pillow helped muffle the horror. But my heart sure got a workout and it was to my relief when I saw it disappear into a hole in the wall. 
By this time, the landlady has heard the thumping of furniture and perhaps a stray scream, and she has some to investigate. She is equally horrified and apologizes profusely, then helps us check the room to make sure its truly gone. 
Praise the Lord, oh my soul, it is! 

BUT theres a giant hole behind our bed. The hole where the rat just disappeared into. A hole where he is patiently waiting until juuuuust the right moment to start Act 2! 
We (and by we, I mean Andrew) shoved some plastic bags over the hole.
 The idea is that, when the rat comes back in, the rustling of the plastic with wake us (read: Andrew) up. 
Andrew is sorely tempted to keep his big boots on when we climb back into bed, just in case. 
But, thankfully, Mr Rat did not come back. 
We threw out the gum he had stolen from my purse (From. My. Purse. Guess Im burning it now!) even though it came all the way from America!  

And today, when we were at the waterfalls, the nice lady patched up the holes. 
That, along with the pleas and prayers from me, should help us to have a rat-free night. There never seems to be a dull moment around here. 

1 comment:

  1. I felt like I was reading a Dave and Morley story from the Vinyl Cafe. I'm sorry that this happened, but you told it so well!